Being An Ally
There is no one way to be an ally to the transgender community, but there are several things you can do to support the trans people in your life—many of which you might be doing already.
The Gender Spectrum Collective
Use a person’s correct name and pronouns.
This is one of the simplest ways to support and respect a trans person. You probably already use the correct names and pronouns for people with whom you interact daily, and you should do the same for your trans friends, family, and coworkers.
Knowing a person before they came out or transitioned is never an excuse to continuously misgender or deadname someone on purpose.
Think before you ask questions.
You might have a lot of questions about trans people, and that’s normal! Before you ask someone personal questions about being trans or transitioning, ask yourself:
How well do I know this person?
Is this a question I would want someone to ask me?
Is this something I would want someone to ask me in public or in the workplace?
Is this something I need to know about this person?
Rather than making a trans person educate you about general topics or issues affecting the trans community, consult the Internet for answers first. Feel free to consult the LGBTQ+ Resource Library for answers to many of your questions—even the inappropriate ones.
It is not appropriate to ask a trans person their birth name, for photos from before they transitioned, about physical changes or medical procedures (surgeries, hormones, body modifiers, etc.,) or about their sexual relationships.
Avoid backhanded compliments & tips.
“Compliments” based on stereotypes about transgender people or about how men and women should look or act are not appropriate. Saying things like “I’d date her, even though she’s trans,” “If you want to look like a real man, you should wear this instead,” or “You look like a real woman! I never would have known you’re trans,” are highly offensive and invalidating.
The Gender Spectrum Collection
Be mindful of confidentiality and “outing” a trans person.
Some trans people are comfortable disclosing their gender history, but others are not. Just because a trans person has come out to you or has begun or completed their transition does not give you license to reveal their personal or medical information to others. Outing someone can have serious repercussions on employment, economic stability, personal safety, or religious or family situations.
You don’t have to understand someone’s identity to respect it.
Some people have not heard a lot about transgender identity or have trouble understanding what it means to be trans, and that’s okay. But all people, even those you don’t fully understand, deserve respect. A trans person’s identity does not depend on what they have or have not done to transition, where they are in their transition process, or the opinion of others. A trans person’s gender identity is what they say it is.
Transgender | A Guide